Well, here I am writing a blog. Being an online company, I need to have an online presence. I need to give my customers a chance to get to know me because no one trusts some name behind a computer, you need to know who I am, what makes me tick, what’s in my heart and I want that connection! The problem is I am kind of boring! Now I don’t mean to say that I’m a boring person, I actually think I’m kind of funny. In person, especially in smaller groups, am goofy and not afraid of a good old silly song and dance. No, what I mean when I say I am boring is I’m not good at the social media stuff, I don’t feel like I have much to offer and not much to show 99% of the time.
I stay home most of the time, and I spend a lot of time with paint on my hands, playing with flowers and some days still come up with nothing worth taking a picture of. I have 3 of my adult children, their partners, two of my grandchildren, and all of their pets living with me, so my house is always chaos and usually looks really lived in. I really struggle with showing anything worth seeing on a personal level or seeing any value I can provide beyond showing pictures of flowers and bouquets. Not to mention I get on a live video and I become a snore-fest. I’m like a monotone zombie who’s never laughed out loud, ever.
I’ve also struggled with if I want to introduce my chronic illness as part of my business image, but the truth is, I am my business and part of me is my chronic illness journey. I worried that people would see chronic illness and think I couldn’t keep my deadlines. That’s not me though, even with my limits I overcome and find ways to meet my commitments, it’s important to me. My disease is called Systemic Mastocytosis and is a blood disorder. I’ve probably had it my entire life according to specialists, but I was diagnosed in 2015 after an anaphylactic reaction to contrast during a CT. It took me years too get to a place where I was able to grieve my old life and accept myself as who I am today. That allowed me to grow so much and part of that growth was opening Lolli and Sass, so my chronic illness has to be shown. I can't hide part of my life and expect people to trust me.
I’m also really hard on myself and have struggled my entire life with self-worth issues. Most people who know me might think I am strong, and some may even say confident, but I put on a really good mask for a very long time and I am still learning how to love myself completely. It is beyond hard for me to show my vulnerability and showing myself to the world is a vulnerable place to be in, but it’s a place God has told me to stand in for a while. I’ve just been my good old stubborn self and come up with every excuse in the book not to. I mean I still struggle with what I have to offer. What in the world do I have to offer that a thousand other people haven’t already typed, said, written, or given to the world? I guess the answer to that is me. I am me and no one else is that, it’s the only unique thing I have to offer, so, I have to show all of me. The good, the bad and the glittery. All of it.
So, who am I? My favorite titles are Mom, Lolli, Wife, Sister, Auntie, Daughter, Friend and of course Child of God so I will share parts of all of that. I am a creative, I love to make things, so I will show projects, both floral and not. I am thrifty, I have kept 5 teenagers and all of their friends fed and alive for over a decade, so I will share recipes that are loved, feed a lot of people and some of the special date night foods too. I am a chronic illness warrior, so I will share how I overcome my limitations and am able to balance so I manage my illness and my business. I love information, so I know a little bit about a lot of things and even a lot about some things. I will share the knowledge I’ve obtained, and I hope others will share theirs with me. I really love getting to know how others do things. I am also imperfect, I have fears, I have doubts and I am pro at a good old fashion break down so I will write some about how I get back up each and every time I fall. This blog won’t just be about floral's although I plan on featuring flowers a lot! I hope you enjoy it!